Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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