Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
