We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
