I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize