u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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