I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
