Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
be right there i have to get my cape
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Randomize
