remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
