PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
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