Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
home. puking in laundry basket.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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