I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
