HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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