bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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