doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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