I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
