I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
