Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
