you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
