I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize