I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Randomize
