This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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