She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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