yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
