if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
