Will you blow on my dice?
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
this must be what syphilis tastes like
where are you?
Hypothermia
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
