she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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