Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize