Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
