i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
