yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
