My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
