I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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