i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
