Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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