I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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