Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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