i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
