I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Randomize
