Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
