You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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