I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
