i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
