WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
