It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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