jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
