do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
