ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Blood and glitter go together right?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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