New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
