Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
