Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize