it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You can't just leave with hair like that
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
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