how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
