He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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