whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
