Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize