You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
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