You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Houston, we have a squirter
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
