I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I stole a fireplace last night.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize