I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
