don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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