that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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