Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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