Sry I called you an 8
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
