I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i came on her dog
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
