Its about making memories worth repressing
my being single is dangerous.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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