We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
