it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
