if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
